Wifey Or Trifey: Sarah Palin

WIFEY?
Sarah has an incredible sense of humor (and we’ve only known her for two months!). She can see Alaska from her front porch (get it?), when she was mayor she had her town charge rape victims for their own crime kits (what sarcasm!), and she’s great with zingers like “pals around with terrorists” and “redistributor-in-chief.” As any beleaguered husband (or husband-to-be) can tell you, a wife you can laugh at with is a must for any long-term relationship.

TRIFEY?
SP seems to suffer from a mild but pretty persistent case of Tourette’s Syndrome, as evidenced by her disconcerting habit of winking like a POW trying to transmit messages in Morse Code every time she’s in public. Look, we have nothing against the handicapped, we’re just not sure we want them potentially negotiating with world leaders driving us crazy with their various facial tics.

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