Wifey Or Trifey: Sarah Palin

WIFEY?The Governor of Alaska is a dedicated outdoorswoman who’s touted as the only candidate on either of this year’s tickets who knows how to field dress a moose. So when it comes to putting food on the table, she’s solid wifey material. And all you have to do is keep the plane gassed up.

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TRIFEY?
The former Miss Wassila was the first runner up in 1984’s Miss Alaska Pageant. In her concession speech, the then 20-year-old promised to use her stature as a “totally hot backwoods Alaskan babe to be a totally insipid shill for entrenched troglodytic interests in the Republican Party.”*

*A slight paraphrasing of her speech (those are pretty obviously not her own words; we’re not sure she even knows what “totally” means).

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