How To Pick Up Female Voters On Election Day

FAR RIGHT
• How to identify her: She's telling other people in line to stop being shiftless and lazy and get to work.
• What to wear: Red. White. Blue. And a bolo tie.
• Talking points: Youth hockey; social parasites looking for handouts; President George W. Bush's totally inspirational war on heathens; the alarming amount of junk in Michelle Obama's trunk; Obama's relationship with terrorists, Africans and other undesirables
• Where to take her: Main Street, for fountain drinks at a good old-fashioned Whites-Only diner