The Internet’s Most Frightening Websites
Illustration by Jon Vermilyea
It’s Halloween weekend, but here you are, stuck staring at the computer screen for hours. Kinda sucks, because we all know there’s nothing scary about the internet…OR IS THERE?
Forget Joker costumes and Sarah Palin masks'even if you can’t trick or treat, we scoured the interwebs and found 6 sites that will send chills up your spine. No matter what your fear is, we’ve got you covered. Click with caution…
SHARK ATTACKS (SharkAttacks.com)
What: Man’s most feared predator
Victims: Snorklers, swimmers, surfers, and ever-so-toothsome boogie boarders
Nightmare Scenario: That thing that brushed up against your leg wasn’t a dolphin. Or a penis.
By The Numbers: 150: Average yearly deaths from falling coconuts; 5: Average yearly deaths from shark attacks.
DEAD CELEBRITIES (CelebrityMorgue.com)
What: Lifeless photos of the famous, including Marilyn Monroe (and we’re not talking the Playboy flicks)
Victims: The aforementioned Norma Jean Baker, Tupac, and Manson family target Sharon Tate
Nightmare Scenario: That 7-11 clerk isn’t actually Elvis.
By The Numbers: 87: The age of Abe Vigoda, who is not dead.
SNAKES (VenomousReptiles.org)
What: Color pictures of people on the wrong side of snake bites
Victims: City slickers on camping trips, Samuel L. Jackson, pet mice
Nightmare Scenario: Being forced to watch Anaconda all the way through
By The Numbers: 100 percent: Fatality rate from a Black Mamba bite if not treated within 20 minutes.
BRUTALIZED CORPSES (CorpseOfTheWeek.com)
What: A new “beauty shot” every seven days
Victims: Anyone who visits the site
Nightmare Scenario: getting redirected here from those pranksters at cuteoverload.com
By The Numbers: 112,000: Number of Americans who die each year due to obesity. Stupid fat corpses!
PLANE CRASHES (AirDisaster.com)
What: Gravity’s a bitch
Victims: Amelia Earhart (maybe), JFK Jr., 1958 Egyptian Fencing Team, 1976 Cuban Fencing Team
Nightmare Scenario: The in-flight movie is Alive. Followed by United 93.
By The Numbers: 15.25 million: Number of consecutive Southwest Airlines flights without a fatal incident
CLOWNS (BadClown.com)
What: Hell for coulrophobics
Victims: Friends of Pogo the Clown (a.k.a. serial killer John Wayne Gacy)
Nightmare Scenario: Being forced to listen to an Insane Clown Posse record all the way through
By The Numbers: 8 percent: Proportion of Americans who suffer from coulrophobia
