Last-Minute Costumes For A Cheap Halloween

As it gets down to crunch time, the chances of finding a unique Halloween costume are getting slimmer by the minute. We feel you, though: shit is real, you're uncreative and store-bought costumes suck. But all that doesn't mean you have to be your broke-ass self on a day when you can be a tranny anything you want.

So take our humble advice, look around you and follow the instructions below to find out how to make four timely Halloween costumes without spending a dime…

IF YOU’RE BLACK… RYAN LESLIE

INGREDIENTS:
• Your most feminine button-up, opened up to the taco meat
• The $10 stunna shades you bought on the boardwalk at Beach Week
• One of your sister’s belts
• One of your sister’s pair of jeans
• Whatever pointy shoes you can find
• The fake monster teeth from your 2004 Halloween costume
FINISHING TOUCHES:
Walk around singing falsetto ditties to yourself, and get your little brother to fake-videotape your every move. The hardest part is going to be convincing a smoking-hot racially-ambiguous girl to stand next to you. But hey, he did it'you can, too.

IF YOU’RE ASIAN… NIGO

INGREDIENTS:
• The Bape gear collecting dust in your closet that you can’t pawn off on Czech kids on eBay
• Aluminum foil (for your grills and fake chain)
• Fitted hat on slight tilt
• Totally blank, vacant expression
FINISHING TOUCHES:
Open your eyes as wide as possible at all times. If anybody makes eye contact with you, throw up the Star Trak sign. Do not say a word.

IF YOU’RE LATINO… MANNY RAMIREZ

INGREDIENTS:
• A white T-shirt with “Dodgers” written in blue Sharpie and “99″ in red Sharpie
• Any blue hat…you can make the “LA” with masking tape if necessary
• A baseball bat…or a large stick of some sort
• Stringy mop spray-painted black; or shred a black T-shirt and use the neck as a crown over your head beneath your LA hat
• Mouth full of Double Bubble
• Goofy, possibly sedated smile
FINISHING TOUCHES:
Swing the bat around viciously. When not swinging, smile and give the two-thumbs-up sign.

IF YOU’RE WHITE… SETH ROGEN

INGREDIENTS:
• Let’s be real: You already look like this
FINISHING TOUCHES:
Laugh nervously.

***IF YOU’RE WHITE (BONUS)… RACHEL MADDOW

INGREDIENTS:
• A blazer with a low-cut shirt underneath
• The butchest running shoes in your closet
• Noah Wyle’s ER haircut
FINISHING TOUCHES:
Get your “angry left” on to anyone within earshot.