History’s Greatest Failed Sports Leagues

After Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson’s defeat earlier this month, it was just a matter of time before the final gun went off on EliteXC, the MMA league that put on his fights. It seems even the promise of more cauliflower ears couldn’t save Elite, and yesterday they announced they were shutting down. Of course, Elite isn’t the first spin-off sports league to have “performance issues” (they couldn’t keep it up). Read on for the defunct leagues that we’re inducting into the Hall of Shame…

ELITE XC

YEARS ACTIVE: 2008
MISSION STATEMENT: CBS bets Kimbo Slice can take MMA mainstream.
HIGH POINT: Opening night on May 31, EliteXC debuted to an audience of 6.5 million on CBS.
MOMENT IT TURNED FOR THE WORSE: About 14 seconds into Kimbo’s fight with pink-haired Seth Petruzelli.
END: Two seconds after Kimbo Slice’s fight with pink-haired Seth Petruzelli.
LEGACY: You ready for Kimbo Slice kids’ books?

XFL

YEAR(S) ACTIVE: 2001
MISSION STATEMENT: Pro football x pro wrestling. NBC and wrastlin’ honcho Vince McMahon figured a few rules changes (Opening Scrambles replacing kickoffs) and cheerleaders in stripper outfits would attract both wrestling and football fans. They figured wrong.
HIGH POINT: On opening night, February 3, 2001, the league scores a 9.5 Nielsen rating for NBC’s broadcast of New York/New Jersey Hitmen vs. Las Vegas Outlaws and Chicago Enforcers vs. Orlando Rage games.
MOMENT IT TURNED FOR THE WORSE: Pretty much as soon as that first night ended (although a dislocated shoulder suffered on the initial Opening Scramble was probably a bad sign). The next week’s games scored a 4.6 rating, and the March 31 Chicago/NY-NJ matchup pulled in a 1.5 share, at that time the lowest ever for a major network primetime broadcast).
END: Less than three weeks after the season’s end, McMahon pulled the plug on the league.
LEGACY: The NFL took on a few XFL players (Tommy Maddox, Rod “He Hate Me” Smith) and some XFL innovations (sky cam); Vince McMahon no longer allowed within 200 yards of NBC offices.

WORLD FOOTBALL LEAGUE

YEAR(S) ACTIVE: 1974, half of 1975
MISSION STATEMENT: The NFL x American Basketball Association
HIGH POINT: The Philadelphia Bell average 60,000 fans for their first two home games.
MOMENT IT TURNED FOR THE WORSE: Maybe two months into the season when two franchises relocated? Or a month later when two teams folded? Nah, probably when one team’s uniforms were impounded after they didn’t pay their laundry bill.
END: Halfway through the league’s second season.
LEGACY: Dope team nicknames: Birmingham Vulcans, Shreveport Steamer, Charlotte Hornets

AMERICAN BASKETBALL LEAGUE

YEAR(S) ACTIVE: 1996-1998
MISSION STATEMENT: Girls can play too!
HIGH POINT: Signing more members of the 1996 gold medal-winning team than the WNBA.
MOMENT IT TURNED FOR THE WORSE: When they decided to go up against David Stern and the WNBA.
END: League filed for bankruptcy December 22, 1998
LEGACY: Way more Jennifer Rizzotti wet dreams than we’d care to admit to.

SLAMBALL

YEAR(S) ACTIVE: 2002-3, 2008(!)
MISSION STATEMENT: Basketball with trampolines.
HIGH POINT: When Bouncers gunner Chris Young took the nickname “Ghetto Bird.”
MOMENT IT TURNED FOR THE WORSE: Whaddaya know? In researching this blog we discovered that Slamball is back this year! With a “Championship” game November 2 no less. But given the resounding success of the first edition we’re gonna say the moment it turned for the worse was the moment they decided to bring it back.
LEGACY: Plenty of compound fractures from the let’s-try-this-at-home crowd.