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Movies

The Worst Movies To Hit #1 At The Box Office

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Just when you think the country is rational and ready to make an informed decision for the most important Presidential election of our lifetime, Beverly Hills Chihuahua (a.k.a. Born in East L.A. with rat dogs) makes $29 million and tops the box office. What the?!?

People, we’re in the middle of a goddamned recession and you’re forking over $10 to watch the Sarah Palin of movies! Alas, this is not the first time a completely ludicrous movie took the top honors at the box office. Complex revisits the most suspect number ones of the past decade…

1998
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Worst #1 Movie: Lost In Space
Made: $20,154,919
Beat Out: Mercury Rising
Verdict: All the William Hurt’s and Gary Oldman’s in the world don’t cancel out one Matt LeBlanc. That’s one dude who does NOT get by with a little help from his friends.

1999
bh_shesallthat.jpg
Worst #1 Movie: She’s All That
Made: $16,065,430
Beat Out: watching paint dry
Verdict: The Columbine Massacre happened only months after this teen fluff suggested that anyone who wears glasses or displays artistic talent is a fucking dork. Nice job, Hollywood.

2000
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Worst #1 Movie: The Watcher
Made: $9,062,295
Beat Out: Nurse Betty, The Way of the Gun
Verdict: Keannu Reeves as a surfer with Down Syndrome, sure. Keannu Reeves as a serial killer, not so much.

2001
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Worst #1 Movie: Exit Wounds
Made: $18,485,586
Beat Out: Enemy at the Gates, Memento
Verdict: Steven Seagal cracks bones and DMX loves crack. Pair the two and you’ve got a smoking hot action movie.

2002
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Worst #1 Movie: SwimFan
Made: $11,326,601
Beat Out: City by the Sea
Verdict: A chick stalking a swimmer?!? Unless his name is Michael Phelps, fuck outta here.

2003 (TIE)
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Worst #1 Movie: Kangaroo Jack
Made: $16,580,209
Beat Out: National Security, City of God
Verdict: Seriously, a rapping kangaroo? Somebody needs to get jumped.

Or…
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Worst #1 Movie: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
Made: $6,660,540
Beat Out: The Order
Verdict: Ever since Chris Farley died, David Spade has been like 350 lbs. less funny.

2004
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Worst #1 Movie: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Made: $29,438,331
Beat Out: The Ladykillers, Jersey Girl, Never Die Alone
Verdict: Fool you twice, blow your shit loose. Zoinks!

2005
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Worst #1 Movie: The Pacifier
Made: $30,522,694
Beat Out: Be Cool, The Jacket
Verdict: If Vin Diesel’s babysitting marine had gone post-traumatic on the kids in his care, bang bang, we’d have been in.

2006
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Worst #1 Movie: RV
Made: $16,414,767
Beat Out: United 93, Akeelah and the Bee
Verdict: A vacationing family stuck together in an RV…the only place this tired Robin Williams vehicle should have been driven is off a cliff.

2007
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Worst #1 Movie: Epic Movie
Made: $18,612,544
Beat Out: Smokin’ Aces
Verdict: The only thing worse than shitty movies is a shitty franchise that makes shitty parodies of shitty movies. The assholes behind these should be wiped…off the face of the planet.

2008
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Worst #1 Movie: Meet the Spartans
Made: $18,505,530
Beat Out: Rambo, Untraceable
Verdict: See Epic Movie.

October 6, 2008 | Permalink
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3 Comments »

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  1. Beg to differ on SwimFan… Erika Christensen, son. FLAMES

    Comment by DeShawn Stevenson — October 6, 2008 #

  2. can we get I AM LEGEND UP DERR

    Comment by bo0gz — October 15, 2008 #

  3. you all are trppin

    Comment by josh — October 18, 2008 #

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