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Slater Showdown: Kelly vs. Christian vs. A.C.

Professional surfer Kelly Slater clinched his 9th world title after his win at Mundaka yesterday, securing his reputation as one of the most elite professional athletes ever. To put things into perspective, Tiger Woods has won seven PGA money titles, Lance Armstrong won seven Tour de France titles before he threw in the towel, and Dale Earnhardt earned seven NASCAR Winston Cup Championships. Kelly is a monsta.

But Kelly isn’t the only Slater in our sights. Christian Slater returns to Primetime Monday, October 13th with the show My Own Worst Enemy, which could be good or bad. And Mario Lopez, who we all fondly know as A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell, has been all over a multitude of shitty reality shows and made-for-TV movies like Husband for Hire and America’s Best Dance Crew. So this begs the question: who is the most complete Slater of all time? We put the three head to head to head so you can decide for yourself and vote below…

CAREER HIGHPOINT

Kelly:
On May 17th, 2005 at the Billabong Pro in Teahupo, Tahiti, Kelly Slater scored two perfect ten waves, setting the benchmark for greatest contest heat ever.

Christian :
He’s best known for his untouchable late ’80s/early ’90s movie run with bangers like Heathers, Gleaming The Cube, True Romance, Pump Up the Volume and Kuffs.

A.C:
The curly-haired mullet-man got to fly first class to film that special reunion episode of Saved by the Bell.

CAREER LOWPOINT

Kelly
Everyone makes mistakes. Kelly Slater thought that a surfing version of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skateboarder was a good idea.

Christian
Poor guy thought a heroin and coke addiction might be fun.

A.C:
Lopez thought that he would go after his lifetime friend Eva Longoria. Woops. Now she’s married. It’s OK though, man. She’s like four feet tall and probably squeaks during sex.

LADIES

Kelly Slater:
Besides taking down Bar Rafaeli, Giselle Bundchen, and a pre-Hep C Pam Anderson, Kelly has traveled the world laying waste fashion weeks, beach chicks, and the upper echelons of female culture.

Christian:
CS has a similar track record, including “counseling” a drugged up and seemingly heterosexual Lohan in her trailer and rocking more mature ladies of the night like Sharon Stone and Jimmy Choo CEO Tamara Mellon.

A.C..:
A.C. divorced his cum-in-your-pants hot Doritos chick wife Ali Landry so he could mope around reality TV show sets and talk shit about Tony Parker.

PHYSICAL PROWESS

Kelly:
So what makes for the “best” Slater? Kelly is the G.O.A.T. in surfing, hero status for anyone who lives within five miles of a real beach.

Christian :
Christian has the acting thing down pat. He can blow up buildings, fight drug dealers, and get chicks to take their clothes off. Hell, he can even skate.

A.C :
Dude is a Chorus Line/Dancing with the Stars superman. Heyyyyy.

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