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When Hot Women Date Magicians

David Blaine finished his latest stunt last night to an audience that had nothing better to do tuned in from around the country. After hanging upside-down for 3 days or whatever it was, you know the magician was ready to redistribute all that blood in his head by hitting off whoever his latest disproportionately attractive girlfriend is.

Between Blaine and his Vegas doppleganger Criss Angel , the two magicians have slept with practically every model, movie star, and drunk bar chick in the world. Wow. Bummer. Since when do socially maladjusted humans who spend their formative years locked in the attic perfecting card tricks get all the hot women? Since always, apparently. Check out our list of ladies who fell for the ‘ol “I found this dildo behind your ear” trick…

HOLLY MADISON

MAGICIAN SHE DATED: Criss Angel
Forty-three seconds after Hef gave Holly the official “I will never marry you” statement from his lawyer, she jumped off the 80-year-old Viagra dick and on to the dirty “illusionist” dick. Oh Holly, stay classy.

CLAUDIA SCHIFFER

MAGICIAN SHE DATED: David Copperfield
The Claudia Schiffer get was a great moment in popular culture, and quite likely the inspiration for a young David Blaine as he sat in his parents Upper East Side penthouse torturing rats that he caught in the street.

JOSIE MARAN

MAGICIAN SHE DATED: David Blaine
You know what? Fuck this dude.

DEBBIE HARRY

MAGICIAN SHE DATED: Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller)
It could be argued that Penn captured the Blondie singer’s heart of glass through magic, but we suspect he showed her his patent for the Jill-Jet, a hot tub/vibrator that has yet to be made.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

MAGICIAN SHE DATED: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
Sure, The Presitge was a “fictional” movie, and the magic wasn’t “real,” but it’s still more believable than Scar-Jo marrying Van Wilder.