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The Odds Of Tim Donaghy’s Prison Survival

The world is a much safer place now that crooked NBA referee Tim Donaghy is locked up for 15 months in a minimum-security federal prison camp in Pensacola, Fla. on felony gambling charges. Well, it’s safer for everyone else at least.

The stakes have changed for the gambling addict who bet on games, used insider info to tip off bettors, and affected the outcome of several contests. For one thing, “you bet your ass” is now an actual wager. Though this degenerate gambler should lay off, there’s no reason you shouldn’t place a bet on his prison experience. Check out Complex’s odds (below) before you go make a fortune…

100:1
Donaghy tries to get a reduced sentence by breaking the no-snitching code, suggesting that David Stern and the magnets he places in balls are actually what decides the outcome of NBA games.

50:1
Donaghy finds the only inmate softer than him—a white-collar suit in the bing for fraud—and makes him his bitch.

25:1
The mob taps Donaghy to officiate and fix the prison’s popular transvestite catfight matches. Oh no he didn’t, girlfriend!

3:1
A prisoner who lost three packs of cigarettes betting on a game Donaghy officiated suspiciously forces him to blow, then swallow his whistle.

1:1
Donaghy finds Jesus—then uses insider information on him to place a wager on the battle of Good vs. Evil.