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Sports

5 Great Moments Of Thievery At Yankee Stadium

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Bases aren’t being stolen at Yankee Stadium anymore, but that doesn’t mean the thievery is over. During the 85-year-old ballpark’s final game, police arrested 18 people for trying to swipe souvenirs rather than pay some rich assholes for the right to own a Yankee urinal.

A private security team is going to protect the stadium from other would-be thieves now (like that’ll stop us). In honor of the fans’ five finger discount, after the cut Complex looks back at five great Yankee Stadium rip-offs. We’re stealin’ on ya!

DAMN YOU JETER
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5. Remember that time you brought your chick to the ballpark and suddenly she became a huge Derek Jeter fan? He banged her while you were buying beers. Thought you should know.

PAVANO NEVER PAID OFF
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4. Coming off an 18-8 record in 2004, free agent pitcher Carl Pavano signed with the Yanks for $39.95 million. In return he gave them stays on the disabled list with broken ribs, an elbow strain, a left hip injury and bruised buttocks (seventh inning stretch pause). For $500, he also sold them an HD TV box filled with cinder blocks.

YOUNG’N IS A BALL GRABBER
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3. In the 1996 American League Championship Series against the Baltimore Orioles, with the Yanks down 4-3, 12-year-old fan Jeffrey Maier reached over the right field wall and deflected a Derek Jeter fly ball—one that Tony Tarasco might have caught—into the stands. Though it was obvious fan interference, the right field umpire ruled it a home run, tying a game the Bombers won with a home run in the 11th inning. Tough-as-nails crime fighter (and honorary Yankee fluffer) Mayor Rudy Giuliani punished the young punk for his thievery by giving him a key to the city. Lesson learned: It’s OK to steal from losers.

THERE WENT A-ROD’s PRIDE
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2. In the 2004 American League Championship Series, the curse-breaking Boston Red Sox made history by taking four straight games from the Yankees to come back from an 0-3 deficit. The Sox not only stole the series, they also took A-Rod’s dignity when he tried to knock the ball out of pitcher Bronson Arroyo’s hand at first with a girlish slap. Heyyyyy!

SORRY FANS
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1. For Yankee Stadium’s farewell season, the 2008 Yanks stank up the joint and eliminated themselves from playoff contention well before the end of the season, robbing fans of a meaningful pennant race or postseason play. Even Shea Stadium is getting a better sendoff with the Mets playing a critical final home stand—and that place is an absolute shithole.

September 23, 2008 | Permalink
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