How To Make Microsoft Cool Again
After leaving everyone a little confused with the Seinfeld portion of their Crispin Porter + Bogusky helmed ad campaign, Microsoft aired the second installment last night. The new commercial, titled “I’m a PC,” goes straight at Apple’s “Mac vs. PC” ads with a bunch of people (including Pharrell) claiming that they’re PCs, implying that they’re not actually lames like Apple says they are. While these new ads are better than the first bunch, we’re still kinda confused.
We thought these ads were supposed to tell people why Window’s isn’t wack, but they don’t even mention Microsoft or Windows, let alone any of its features. WTF? Who cares if astronauts and animal trainers use it? You’re supposed to be telling the people who want to look cool with a Macbook why they should stick with Microsoft. Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, Microsoft still has the computer game on lock with a damn near 90% market share, but they got problems. Maybe they should focus on them instead of making commercials. We got some suggestions on how they can step up…
1. MERGE THE XBOX AND WINDOWS TEAMS
Ask anyone under the age of 40 what the best Microsoft product is, and they’ll probably tell you Xbox 360. Besides the dreaded Red Ring of Death, everything about the 360 is dope. It has the best game selection, powerful hardware and, most importantly, the best software available on any console. Playing online with friends on PS3 is straight up painful, while Xbox Live makes it effortless and it looks great. Two things that are seldom said about Windows.
2. BE MORE PROACTIVE
For a company as large and rich as Microsoft, you would think they’d be a beacon of innovation. But most of their consumer products seem to be answers to products that are already successful, like the Zune and Windows Live. Now the Zune and Windows Live aren’t bad products, they’re actually pretty damn good. But it’s hard to stand out when you’re #2. They need to take more risks with their products, bring in some innovators and stop trying to create things to destroy popular products.
3. FIRE STEVE BALLMER
Besides their slick, attractive, innovative products, there’s one reason Apple is able to stay on top and his name is Steve Jobs. People only hear or see Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer when he’s pissed off and ranting about one of their competitors. No one wants to buy products from him. Microsoft needs a charismatic figurehead that people actually like to peddle their products to the masses. A good salesman can sell anything, no matter how wack. Just ask Diddy.
4. FOCUS AND SIMPLIFY
When they launched Windows Vista, they launched FOUR different versions! When your average user walks into the computer store, they just want to pick up Windows and keep it moving. If they get confused at all, that’s a problem. And when it comes to Windows, people have been very confused. They need to trim the fat and focus on doing a couple things really well.
5. OPEN MICROSOFT RETAIL STORES
Microsoft seems to think that their main problem is one of perception. That people only think Windows sucks because Apple and a lot of the media has said it sucks. And they’re kinda right. If they want to really change people’s perception of Windows and all things Microsoft, they need to let people experience it first hand, on their terms. They need a Microsoft retail store. The only time people experience their products is when they go to Best Buy or some other store where they speak to poorly-trained sales people. If Microsoft had their own store, they’d be able to give people the entire Microsoft experience. Whatever that may be.
steveballmer September 19, 2008 at 11:54 pm
People, the Gates/Seinfeld ads have not been canceled, they have been stopped. Huge difference! Chris Flores, head of MS marketing or something explains on the Vista Blog:
” So there seems to be the rumor running around that we’re supposedly cancelling our Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld ads tomorrow. I wouldn’t count on anything being “cancelledâ€. It was always the plan to have Jerry Seinfeld in the first phase of the campaign and not a part of every ad. Instead, our Windows Consumer Campaign is moving into the next phase and we did mention previously that you should expect the campaign to evolve. I’ll direct you to a post by Stuart Elliott of The New York Times to shed some light on what’s next for our ad campaign.
More to come – stay tuned!”
While it is true that we shot ten commercials, we always planned to cut it off at two! We have a long list of celebrities chomping at the bit to work with me and Bill! Eva Longoria is next, after her the Dice-man Clay, then Mel Brooks, …. the list goes on and on …..
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
tj September 20, 2008 at 3:44 pm
xbox is on point though..
DeShawn Stevenson September 20, 2008 at 3:47 pm
from your lips to microsoft’s ears. someone over there needs to read this sh’t pronto
Black Chanler September 21, 2008 at 12:25 am
Apple is overrated. They try to advertise themselves as the computer for the hip college student/young adult yet their cheapest computer is around one grand? With only a 100 dollar student discount.
PCs= cheaper and customizable
A windows store is a good idea though.
anon September 21, 2008 at 1:22 pm
That windows store image looks about right… empty
JP September 21, 2008 at 4:22 pm
The idea of Microsoft opening retail stores is retarded. Microsoft doesn’t make PC hardware, so who’s machines are they going to sell in the store? HP? Dell? Gateway? …doesn’t that just make them a Best Buy or Circuit City knock off?
Think about your suggestions a little more there, guy.
Sherlock September 21, 2008 at 4:26 pm
It sounds like the whole idea is to make Microsoft act like Apple?
Not sure this will “differentiate them”.
Mark September 21, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Microshit’s new advertising and marketing tactic = bring the photocopier and copy everything Apple does.
Microsoft sucks big time and so do PC’s running Windows!
victor September 21, 2008 at 5:18 pm
microsoft tried the store idea here in san francisco. unfortunately, it didn’t work and went out of business.
RandomRage September 21, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I was going to read your article, but you lost me when you used the word “dope” without irony.
slackware September 21, 2008 at 5:27 pm
The latest slogan is “life without walls”….
without walls there is no use for windows.
egfx September 21, 2008 at 5:36 pm
egfx September 21, 2008 at 5:39 pm
How about some of this
http://www.ucubd.com/Index.aspx?id=733&cid=3512
garrett September 21, 2008 at 5:41 pm
with e exception of number 1, isn’t this basically saying “be more like apple”?
Mark September 21, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Very good list. Surprisingly good actually. And instead of proactive I think the word your looking for is innovative
joel melendez September 21, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Wow! great advice!
steveballmer September 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm
We are cool!
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
cownaetion September 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I just like how all these articles are published about how mad their marketing campaign is and how everyone else could do it better. These commercials are screened tested by thousands and you think they haven’t heard these complaints before? You think their ignoring them now? If everyone’s idea was so much better I’m sure they would of paid you a nice sum of money for it, oh wait they actually did cut someone a nice paycheck but an actual professional who has to write scripts for billions of people to watch and already know they are going to get criticized by Apple fan boys and pathetic bloggers who think they can do better.
mac September 21, 2008 at 6:23 pm
JP, smartass, have you ever been to apple store? do they sell just their own products, or maybe for instance the whole speakers section contains…what? apple fanboys, get a life, for christs sake, what wrong with you people “microsoft bad..blahblablbal… Apple Gooood…blahblahblah…”? don’t you have more important things to do? btw. I use macs AND pcs.
Gwen Stavos September 21, 2008 at 6:25 pm
The only way to make Microsoft cool is with liquid nitrogen and a whole lot of it.
These guys are natural born imitators, not innovators. Every idea was either stolen or copied or both. They even tried to steal software like stacker and include it in windows, these guys are lame.
Microsoft wants tips on how to fix their business model they can pay me, and it will cost a lot less than 300 million dollars. I like the fire Ballmer idea though….
Chris September 21, 2008 at 6:39 pm
A Microsoft retail store would be inundated with people trying to get their Dell/Compaq/HP/Lenovo/Sony computers fixed and there would be no time left for employees to actually sell anything.
raindog September 21, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I thought your post was going to suck but after reading it I think it is actually very good. 5 huge tips. I think someone should pay you for these ideas.
Said that, I really, really love those Seinfeld+Gates ads. They probably won’t work because of that.
Jim September 21, 2008 at 7:12 pm
“Again”?
I’ve been using Microsoft products since MS-DOS was distributed on floppy disks (and I mean the ones that were actually floppy) and can’t remember a time when the company has ever exuded cool.
They generated a lot of buzz for Windows 95 some fourteen years ago, but that quickly dissipated when people tried to install it on any hardware produced before 1997. They decided to repeat the experience with Vista.
The company’s only product ever widely thought of as cool was the Xbox, which is ironic since MS is a software company. That success never translated to the brand as a whole though, and was promptly canceled out by the Zune line.
Cool? No. Popular? Sure. In the same way that seeing a dentist is popular, since nearly everyone does so.
Jim Jones September 21, 2008 at 7:24 pm
LOL, Thats just to darned funny.
Jiff
http://www.Fireme.To/udi
DrunkRobot September 21, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Hate to burst the entire premise of your story… but neither Windows or Microsoft have never been “cool”. Unless you considered spreadsheets, crashes and viruses cool. PC users suffer from Stockholm syndrome lol!
Random September 21, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Is that the blue screen of death on every screen in the Microsoft retail store?
David September 21, 2008 at 8:59 pm
#4 – Focus and Simplify.
Honestly, that’s all Microsoft really needs to do. The reason Vista flopped isn’t Apple’s fault, its because Vista is a gigantic mess.
When Steve Jobs was hired back at Apple, they were a mess. He did two things: Focus and Simplify.
Jared September 21, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Not only do they need to focus and simplify, but they need to make their applications work together as nicely as Apple does. One of the ways I sell Macs at my store is by showing how programs like iMovie can access all the other iLife apps just by clicking a button. Windows Movie Maker (hmmm, better names would be nice too) has a hideous interface compared to iMovie and is nowhere near as easy for a first time user to use.
Chris September 22, 2008 at 12:20 am
Any of you whiners going on about crashes, learn to use windows. I’ll stick with playing my games perfectly fine and not being one of the lameass kids I always see at college bootcamping xp just because they can’t use shit on their mac.
Krystle September 22, 2008 at 1:23 am
Overall, I liked your article; it provides an interesting perspective.
I recently saw the new commercials for Microsoft and was wondering what new “thing†they were going to be unveiling to the world. While I thought the commercials were funny and I liked the newest commercial poking fun at Apple, I am still left wondering, “What new technology are we going to get to see?â€
I like both Apple (Mac) and Microsoft—I have two iPods and I only use Microsoft on my computer—but I agree Microsoft needs to find better ways of promoting their products whether through stores, like Apple, or another innovative means and simplify their features. I was very skeptical when I switched to Microsoft 2007 from 2003 but you have to admit when you get used to the newer version, they did a great job of massing similar functions into tabs.
I know I am going to annoy any die-hard Mac fans, and this might be because I don’t have much experience with the newer Macs, but I find them hard to use. I had one in high school and the technologies are obviously better now, but I lost so much information when converting papers and homework back and forth from my Mac to PCs at school.
It is interesting, in this new, got-to-have-the-newest-and-greatest culture we are building how people take sides. Microsoft sucks—No, Apple Sucks…how about its NEW, like it, it is what you wanted in the first place, right? I like both, I enjoy the benefits of both—I got what I wanted!
Adam September 22, 2008 at 1:49 am
Vista sucks for one reason….DRM microsoft needs to say f**k off to RIAA et al. Piracy is not their problem, no more then bank robbery is nike’s problem. Sure you could put on a pair of nikes and rob a bank, but you dont see nike trying to stop it do you…removing all the digital restrictions management sh*t from windows would make things heaps faster and more stable.
Linux for work, Windows for games OS X to laugh at
wslc September 22, 2008 at 4:01 am
So, in other words, what you’re saying is: copy mac even more…
Jose September 22, 2008 at 5:19 am
This article can be condensed in just two words :
COPY APPLE
steveballmer September 22, 2008 at 8:29 am
…what do they mean by again?
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
Tom September 22, 2008 at 9:51 am
#4 – Microsoft actually released 6 versions of Vista. The four mentioned above and Enterprise Edition which is similar to volume license and Started Edition which is a stripped down version designed for older slower machines which you moght find in 3rd world countries. As if 4 versions weren’t bad enough. Enterprise can only be purchased directly from Microsoft. I have not seen Starter Edition.
Alvin September 22, 2008 at 1:11 pm
JP,
You sir, are an idiot. You are not allowed to post on the internet again until you prove you have a brain.
Sean September 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm
If Microsoft wants to be cool they need buy ubuntu :0
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LA Bear September 22, 2008 at 2:49 pm
The problem with a retail store is that MS doesn’t make computers. Apple IS a computer company and a software company. When you remove the computer, the magic (or lack of it) kind of gets limp.
steveballmer September 22, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Speaking of limp …
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
Ty Goldsby September 22, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Xbox sucks ( red ring of death ) somebody tell Bill Cakes I want my money back
Sveinbjorn September 23, 2008 at 8:04 am
Here’s a critique of your article for a change.
You ask of Microsoft that they be pro-active, and then the rest of the suggestions are:
Hire a Steve-Jobs-a-like
Streamline your products like apple does
Open apple stores
The rise of microsoft was due to them leading their market. The may not have been innovators (like most large and diverse software companies, they aquired most of their best products from other companies), but they were good at marketing. They didn’t invent the word processor, the spreadsheet or the slide show, but bundling them together into Office was a brilliant piece of marketing.
I do think that maybe Microsoft should create a design think-tank. Hire some of the most exciting and innovative people in the field of interface design to capture that lead. Microsoft has always followed apple in terms of interface, but for a while (95 until os X 10.1 shipped) they were ahead.
To capture that again they would need to present some bold new style concepts.
AdMonkey.org September 23, 2008 at 11:11 am
The title of this post assumes that Microsoft was once cool, which it wasn’t, and that it can take steps to be cool, which it can’t. When I was much younger, I remember being at a wedding, and seeing an old guy out on the dance floor dancing to rock and roll music. My reaction was “look at that old guy trying to dance like a young person.”
That’s what Microsoft will look like if they try anything that’s supposed to “make them be cool.” They will only be seen as trying to copy Apple.
Your “Microsoft Store” idea is so ridiculous that it made me laugh out loud. What would the incentive be to make ANYONE go there when they would be able to buy any of their products cheaper anywhere else? Are consumers going to say to themselves, “Gee, I think I’ll go to the Microsoft store to listen to Microsoft’s marketing propaganda?” Then they would say, “WOW, look, there’s Microsoft Office, just like I have on my computer at work!”
ozbroomy September 26, 2008 at 12:13 am
The new ads cost a whole lot of money for… nothing…
The Advert didn’t even have a decent go at Apple.
Get users to write or create ads and have an independant agency pick the best and improve on it.
Here’s my version of a good Microsoft Ad.
It’s January 29, 2007, the Day before Vista was first released. Our main character (let’s call him Dilbert, so you can imagine the sort of person he is) waits in front of the local computer store chain. The sun is just coming up, the store opens at 10, he’s been there all night, alone. As it ticks over until 10am a store clear flips the Vista advertising sign in the front window. It now reads come back tomorrow. Vista isn’t finished yet. He repeats the process the next day, finally gets his copy and eagerly rushes home.
Back in his gadget filled apartment he loads up his new software, only to be confronted with a message saying all his hardware it too old and he needs to upgrade it. Frustrated, he curses out loud “that’s it, I’m done with this, I am getting a MAC!’. A message flashed on the screen “Are you sure you want to do that, confirm or denyâ€.
The next day he’s in a MAC fanboy line with all sorts of funky design freaks for hours. The MAC & PC ad guys are there, and someone dancing like the person in the ipod Ad. He eventually returns to his apartment with his new MAC.
His apartment is noticeable emptier, as he’s had to sell half his stuff to afford the MAC. He plugs it in and starts to install his programming software and realizes none of it will run on the MAC, unless he installs Vista again (arrgh!).
He comes back the next day. All his gadgets and his shirt are gone. But he’s able to use his new MAC now with all his software.
12 months later he’s skinny and living on noodles and is now in just his underwear coding. He finishes his beta project and goes into the office to show his boss. He’s still in just his underwear. His boss has a windows system so he can’t run it. His boss asks him why he doesn’t use Vista. “The latest service patch fixes all those problems it had when it first came out.
The next week, He’s back in his apartment. He’s got all his clothes & gadget’s back and a new pc with Vista on it. He’s happily working away.
Tagline: “Vista – your view will changeâ€
That took me about 10 minutes to think out while driving to work. Come on Microsoft, don’t be Big’n'Hard..
Web Hosting June 7, 2009 at 3:21 am
New version of xbox is really good. But that console’s games are for children. :)
nick August 13, 2009 at 11:33 pm
I made a switch from microsoft to apple a few years ago and i can safely say I am never going back. Apple strives for simplicity, and when you walk into their stores you buy exactly what they advertise. As things get newer, they get easier. Take the iPhone for instance; have you ever seen such a simple device? Microsoft users can pride themselves on the customizable aspect, building your own PC, and what-not but the bottom line is that the majority of people do not want to do that. I simply wanted a computer that when I turned on gave me the best experience possible right out of the box – and as apple just continues down this path I only see PC’s becoming more obsolete.
Helene August 27, 2009 at 5:15 pm
good post ,i like it