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Drugs

More Proof That Marijuana Is A Miracle Medicine

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Yesteday, more news broke that says our favorite plant’s favorite chemical, tetrahydrocannibinol (THC), is getting closer to a medical breakthrough. Turns out that compounds in the drug have antibacterial properties that might even defeat antibiotic-resistant germs like MRSA.

But that’s not all, of course—weed has applications that go far beyond being able to watch back-to-back episodes of The Sarah Silverman Show. Learn about more of its “healthy” uses below….

hunchback
Predicament: Osteoporosis
Treatment: In January 2006, investigators at Hebrew University in Jerusalem found that a synthetic cannabinoid slowed osteoporosis and stimulated bone building. Pause.

tourettes
Predicament: Tourette’s Syndrome
Treatment: Many patients have FUCK reported a loss in DOGSHIT severity of their symptoms FILTHY SLOPHOLE after cannabis ARGH FUCKYOURMOTHERCUNT treatment.

pam
Predicament: Hepatitis C
Treatment: This one’s a little dicier, but some cannabinoids may grossly enlarge your breasts while somehow doing nothing to augment your pancake cave-bitch ass reduce inflammation in some cases.

hiccups
Predicament: Incurable Hiccups
Treatment: Marijuana’s antispasmodic properties have cause relief for some tortured souls. It’s done the same for us, but we always chalked it up to not being able to hiccup around the family-size bag of Doritos we were cramming down our gullet at the time.

reagan
Predicament: Alzheimer’s Disease
Treatment: Multiple studies have found that THC inhibits an enzyme that is seen as a primary marker of the degenerative neurological disease. “Just Say No” indeed, Nancy.

September 8, 2008 | Permalink
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4 Comments »

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  1. “…weed has applications that go far beyond being able to watch back-to-back episodes of The Sarah Silverman Show.”

    HHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.. that slayed me.

    Comment by Anthony Taurus — September 9, 2008 #

  2. How about some links to these studies? Blanket statements without evidence to back it up is for NIDA.

    Comment by Jade — September 13, 2008 #

  3. How about the link in the post itself? You know, the one that the post is about?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/09/science/09obdrug.html

    Comment by Chris — September 17, 2008 #

  4. Dugg for Budd and all the… what was I going to say….oh yeah, Doritos FTW! OM NOM NOM NOM

    Comment by design — September 21, 2008 #

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