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More Proof That Marijuana Is A Miracle Medicine

Yesteday, more news broke that says our favorite plant’s favorite chemical, tetrahydrocannibinol (THC), is getting closer to a medical breakthrough. Turns out that compounds in the drug have antibacterial properties that might even defeat antibiotic-resistant germs like MRSA.

But that’s not all, of course—weed has applications that go far beyond being able to watch back-to-back episodes of The Sarah Silverman Show. Learn about more of its “healthy” uses below….

Predicament: Osteoporosis
Treatment: In January 2006, investigators at Hebrew University in Jerusalem found that a synthetic cannabinoid slowed osteoporosis and stimulated bone building. Pause.

Predicament: Tourette’s Syndrome
Treatment: Many patients have FUCK reported a loss in DOGSHIT severity of their symptoms FILTHY SLOPHOLE after cannabis ARGH FUCKYOURMOTHERCUNT treatment.

Predicament: Hepatitis C
Treatment: This one’s a little dicier, but some cannabinoids may grossly enlarge your breasts while somehow doing nothing to augment your pancake cave-bitch ass reduce inflammation in some cases.

Predicament: Incurable Hiccups
Treatment: Marijuana’s antispasmodic properties have cause relief for some tortured souls. It’s done the same for us, but we always chalked it up to not being able to hiccup around the family-size bag of Doritos we were cramming down our gullet at the time.

Predicament: Alzheimer’s Disease
Treatment: Multiple studies have found that THC inhibits an enzyme that is seen as a primary marker of the degenerative neurological disease. “Just Say No” indeed, Nancy.