NEWS

All-Star Collabos Ruined By Too Many Cooks

Where were you the day “Swagger Like Us” leaked? Yeah, it’s up there, right next to the moon-landing and the assassination of JFK. The days the world stood still. Oh yeah, except that then we actually listened to “S.L.U.”, T.I.’s “event record” with Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Lil’ Wayne, and… eh, turned out it was mad mediocre. This isn’t to say that they’re not the most talented or exciting guys in the genre—hell, in music—but this record was not a case, like say “Scenario” or, shit, even “WWIII”, where the product equaled the sum of all their respective talent.

Anyhow, this isn’t the first time Complex has been underwhelmed by the A-list conspirators of it’s world. After the jump, check out “S.L.U.” and countdown with Complex the other worst combos in pop culture history.

#5: T.I. f/ Kanye West, Jay-Z and Lil Wayne “S.L.U.”


It’s not that this record is bad, per se. It’s just that it’s not really good either. And considering that it features our favorite producer and favorite rappers—save Jeezy—going in (pause), you’d think they’d be cooking up “The Symphony”, but it ended up sounding more like “The Symphony II”

#4: Stash x Concept x Clark

Stash has collab’d to make some of the illest kicks on the market. His “original AF1s” with the gum sole and lil’ spray can etchings are so sick, and so rare they go for thousands on eBay. His blue and grey “’95s” and AF1s are fresh to death. His three-way collabo wallabees? Well, they’re black.

#3: Digital Playground’s Island Fever series

Look, how are you gonna assemble all of your hottest pornstars—including Complex favs like Tera Patrick, Sophia Santi, and even Jesse Jane and Teagan Presley (when we’re feeling extra white), fly them out to Hawaii, shoot them with the best lighting and the crispiest camera work, and not get one scene that makes it move? What the peanut-butter-and-jelly-bullshit is that slow motion crap? And all that lesbian business is cool, we guess, but could you at least temper it with some anal? Island Fever? More like Island Freezer.

#2: Heat dir Michael Mann, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, etc…

Yeah, we know this jammie is a “street classic,” referenced by hip hop luminaries like Jay-Z and Styles P, but despite featuring all the best actors and a brilliant director, this shit sucked. Back in ‘95, Complex even took a chick to see it on opening night and literally fell asleep…while getting his dick rubbed in the back row. Seriously, my dudes—Paniro’s Austrian Emmy-winning coffee cup scene be damned, how bored do you have to be to pass out during a handjob?

#1: USA’s 2004 Olympic Basketball Team

Okay, so there’s certain things the rest of the world does better than America, like universal health care, conservation, and food, but we’ll be goddamned if we’re not better at basketball. In 2004, this all-star crew of losers, lead by head lose Larry Brown, sucked more international dick than Lindsay Lohan during her 48 hour romp at Italian Fashion week.