Olympic Rap Battle: Michael Phelps Vs. Amanda Beard

There’s blood in the water. Tuesday, on 93.7 KRQ Tucson’s “Johnjay and Rich in the Morning” radio show, Olympic swimmer and model Amanda Beard made a few sideways comments about fellow USA Olympian and national hero Michael Phelps. When asked if they were dating or had kissed, she replied, “Eww, that’s so nasty! … Come on, I have really good taste.” Phelps, who is drowning under eight fresh gold medals (not to mention endorsements and groupie love), has brushed it off, and Beard has apologized for making jokes at his expense.

Of course, Complex couldn’t let it die with such a minimal splash. We imagined the swimmers using their breath control to battle. It’s no race to the finish, just a test of rap skills. Check out the verses below and vote on who leaves who wet up.

Michael’s Verse:

Me date you? Illogical. I spear models
I wouldn't take a swim in that trim with beer goggles
Any rumor that I'd do ya is a bad joke
Not even with a bag on your head, doing the backstroke
Sorry to dash hopes, you can peck the balls
And my medal haul while I teabag you from the pedestal
See me on Wheaties, feeding the world breakfast
No medals in '08? You can get a pearl necklace
Eight golds. You don't have an eighth my fame
You were serving concessions at the Beijing Games
(Crazy lame.) My legend will lives for ages
The biggest splash you've made is in the sticky pages
My dick was gracious getting half hard for it
Mad unfortunate, half horsey bitch
Bearded lady, you can get the gas face
Then take a lap (of my crack) and tell me how my ass taste.

Amanda’s Verse:

Touch this Bunny hole? Don't even think it.
My pussy ain't a prize for the Special Olympics
Idiot, you got your golds, now swim home
Cause China stones the shit out a kid with Down Syndrome
I can’t believe anybody’d wanna sponsor
The love child of Corky and the Loch Ness Monster
Fast in the water, dumb slow on land
But quick to bust early, blow a load in your pants
And they wonder why they call you “The Baltimore Bullet”
Emptying all your rounds before you can pull it
Only in Playboy you see these buns
Practicing your best stroke: the penis pump
I see through the packaging, you're mad saccharine
Splashing in the water and lapping men
With your waxed abdomen, you part bitch
You swallow and Mark Spitz

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