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Billy Packer’s Hall of Shame

As has long been speculated, CBS officially parted ways with longtime college roundball analyst Billy “Packer? I Hardly Know ‘Er!” Packer yesterday after 27 years.

We are not unhappy about this, especially since Packer’s being replaced with Clark Kellogg—who, despite his love of the word “spurtability,” is an ex-Pacer, and as such is infallible (suck on that, Captain Knick!). Besides, Packer’s an ass, and it didn’t take us long to document our case. After the jump, take a look back at some of his career defining moments…

In 1987, Packer was broadcasting a Pan Am Games women’s basketball game when he said of then-center (and future WNBA pioneer) Jennifer Gillom, “Doesn’t Gillom remind you of a lady who someday is going to have a nice large family and is going to be a great cook? Doesn’t she look like that? She’s just got a real pleasant face.” Believe it or not, it’s not the “pleasant face” part we have a problem with here.

In 1996, he called Allen Iverson a, um, “tough monkey.” And nothing happened. And by “nothing,” we mean “John Thompson not sodomizing him with a tire iron.”

During a Final Four game this past April between Kansas and North Carolina, Packer summoned up every ounce of sports acumen to declare the game “over”—at less than halfway through the first half. Spoiler alert, homie!

And finally, Billy Packer ever so eloquently accuses Charlie Rose of “fagging out.” Classy.

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