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Hellboy II Has A Wicked Buzz

Sometimes Ayo! Scott gets sidetracked by his numba-one ladyboy, so Stephen Hold ‘Em has to step up for all you thirsty-ass cinephiles. And step up he did when he snaked his way into an advance screening for Hellboy II: The Golden Shower Army, the most-anticipated movie of the year for Tolkien fans who masturbate to engravings of mythical beasts.

This time out, Hellboy and his freakshow stromies at the BPRD have their hands full with an albino and borderline-incestuous elf, who’s trying to take over the world by resuscitating a horde of automaton super-soldiers. As in the first movie, Ron Perlman kills it as the wisecracking demon, and Selma Blair is looking ineffably effable—she could definitely Hold ‘Em. The major difference this time around is the presence of director (and Complex Shotcaller) Guillermo del Toro, who gives the movie the full GDT treatment—which is to say, more trolls and slobbering gape-mawed beasts than a Khia video.

Despite the movie’s undeniable humor and plenty of brolic demon-on-otherworldly-creature action, del Toro’s insistence on fantastical fairy-tale shit and a hokey romantic subplot makes it all feel a little bit too much like the sequel to Pan’s Labyrinth instead of Mike Mignola’s comic-book brainchild. After the jump, peep the extended trailer.