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Fox Plots An Osbournes Variety Show

As much as Fox can come through with some great television–House, 24, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose—their reality-based programming leaves a little to be desired. And by “a little,” we mean “an amount the size of the aggregate silicon volume of I Love Money’s female contestants.”

So is it any surprise that the network responsible for Are You Smarter Than Jeff Foxworthy’s Prostate? has doubled down on its abominable track record by ordering six episodes of a variety show? Starring the OSBOURNES?! We haven’t witnessed an idea this spectacular since Victoria Beckham convinced NBC executives that America cared about the life of a dour skeleton with two melon halves and a dye job. That said, there should be some eminently watchable trainwrecks involved in Ozzy’s family variety show. Don’t believe us? Watch some past variety show high points below.

The Jackson 5 sings about…junk food. With the help of…Mackenzie Phillips:

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson make us long for real comedy. Like Epic Movie. Or genocide:

In 1980, NBC ran six episodes of Pink Lady and Jeff, a variety show starring a Japanese singing duo and a comedian. This is but a single hallucinatory sample:

[Variety]