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Megan Fox Reminds Brian Austin Green He’s A Loser

This just in: gossip rags are reporting that the industry’s current #1 hottie Megan Fox has broken off her inexplicable engagement to 90210 alum Brian Austin Green. It was bound to happen, but we still can’t help but feel a little bad for the former David Silver, who has a long history of taking L’s.

Granted, BAG deserves props for bedding Tiffani Amber Theiessen and having a kid with sexy actress Vanessa Marcil, but all that has been overshadowed by his career as a serial failure in the entertainment biz. Despite the hot women, Green has been unable to find success in the worlds of film, TV and music since 90210’s cancellation. We hate to kick the guy while he’s down, but we felt like it was our duty to recount the rest of Brian’s biggest failures below. You know, just in case anymore impressionable young actresses think dating him might be a good idea…

Driving His Best Friend To Suicide On Beverly Hills 90210

After ditching his geeky best friend Scott to hang out with the popular crowd, David Silver feels terrible guilt once Scott’s character shoots himself. Silver, ate up inside about his questionable loyalty then launches a tirade about how much of a lame Scott was over the high school’s loudspeaker.

Releasing A Huge Brick Of A Rap Album

In 1996, BAG released his One Stop Carnival rap album, which proved to be a one-stop disgrace. Despite production from The Pharcyde’s Tré Hardson, the album brick from a sales perspective and one critic labeled Green as “the poor man’s Vanilla Ice.” Ouch.

Starring In Freddie Prinze Jr.’s Sitcom

In 2005, Green returned to prime time with a starring role on ABC’s sitcom “Freddie,” where he played lukewarm actor Freddie Prinze Jr.’s sidekick. Coupling Prinze’s cock-boy factor with Green’s entertainment ether, the show got canceled after the end of the first season.

Almost Getting Merked By His Rapist Friend In She Fought Alone.

After defending his friend Jace from rape allegations, Green’s character Ethan learns that a rape actually might have happened. When he tries to confront Jace about lying during a Brokeback-esque hunting scene, the hot-headed Jace almost shoots Ethan. If almost getting murked by one of his homies wasn’t enough of an L, the movie’s DVD cover didn’t help.

Posing For The Cover Of Playgirl

In November 1996, Green graced the cover of Playgirl, looking very Marky-Mark ish. During the interview, Green digs himself even a bigger hole by saying “I take baths all the time. I’ll put on some music and burn some incense and just sit in the tub and think, wow life is great right now.” Umm, sir, you forgot your balls in Tiffani’s bed.