5 Reasons We’re Glad Lou Pearlman Is In Prison

Photo: Leopold Nekula/WireImage
We wouldn’t wish prison on anyone (except the serial killer in 4E), but when we heard that Orlando’s boyband mastermind Lou Pearlman was sentenced to 25 years this morning, we weren’t sad.
Before he was conning unsuspecting investors out of $300 million with his fake company “Transcontinental Airlines,” the 53-year-old was responsible for bringing some of the worst (and most successful) acts to American pop culture. While some of them, like *NSYNC have since redeemed themselves (Thanks, Timbaland!), most of the stuff Pearlman was involved in still leaves a bad taste in our mouth. After the jump, see the five worst things that Louie P. brought to life.
5. O-Town

Before Puffy took over Making The Band, Pearlman put this group together on the show and named them after the capital of the boyband universe. They were just as corny and generic as every other manufactured pop group, but with one extra fatal flaw: a white guy with dreads.
4. Smilez & Southstar

Their catchy 2002 single “Tell Me” wasn’t the worst thing ever, but their hot basura album Crash The Party (released by Pearlman’s Trans Continental label) proved that the pop producer had no business meddling with rap music. The saddest part is that even today, when every rapper from Florida is all over urban radio, Double-S still can’t make a comeback.
3. Backstreet Boys

The group broke ties with Pearlman in 1997 after they realized he was stealing money from them (surprise), but by then, the damage was already done. An entire generation of white girls was ruined.
2. Chippendales Dancers

After the original owners died, Pearlman resurrected America’s biggest male stripper empire in 2000. We loved Chris Farley’s SNL skit, but otherwise, there’s really no reason for a man to ever wear a bow tie while shirtless.
1. LFO

The “Lyte Funky Ones” took everything terrible about boybands and doubled it. The three Boston boys managed to name check both “New Kids On The Block” and “Abercrombie & Fitch” in the hook to their hit single “Summer Girls,” before doing an ear-bleeding collaboration with M.O.P. If Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will Hunting were to start a boyband, this would be them.
[Reuters]

Um, didn’t homeboy get accused of molestation by Nick Carter’s parents? Shouldn’t raping children supersede LFO as the #1 reason that Complex is psyched about homeboy going to jail? Maybe things are different where I come from…
Comment by suckitmarshall — May 21, 2008 #
Yeah, he made little androgynous blonde boys suck him off or something before he put them in boy bands.
Comment by Manila Marco — May 22, 2008 #
Nothing is worse than the crime of unleashing that horrible music through squads of boy band douchebags. He has forever tainted the collective taste of the world and should be put to death. Seriously, just look at the picture of that slimy, greasy, piece of shit at the top of the page and the tone-deaf fucktards below. Tell me you don’t want to murder them all with a lead pipe.
Comment by Bear — May 23, 2008 #