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Grand Theft Auto IV: Holdin’ Down The Bloc

Today Rockstar officially announced that Grand Theft Auto IV will hit shelves on April 29. You’ll have to wait a few months to get your pillage on as Niko Bellic, the game’s protagonist and the illest Slavic bad guy since Ivan Drago. Until then we have to answer the question, “Who’s the gulliest Slav on the Bloc?” Check out our lineup of Eastern European nasties after the jump.

Vladimir Nabokov: In 1954, critics called the Russian’s novel Lolita—about a man sexually obsessed with a preteen girl—“sheer, unrestrained, pornography.” R. Kelly called it “inspiring.”

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Nikolai Volkoff: The Croatian wrestler repped the CCCP and taunted America. He eventually earned U.S. love for battling Saddam sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter during Gulf War I.

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Vlade Divac: The now-retired Slavic NBA star used to run down the court throwing up a three-finger salute—a gesture tied to the ethnic-cleansing Serbian military. Geno-siiiide!

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Yakov Smirnoff: The Ukrainian-born comedian owed much of his brief ’80s popularity to his mockery of ugly Soviet women and the catchphrase “What a country!” Smarten up, Borat.

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