NEWS

NFL Week Nine Wrap-Up

• Kitna Wants To Repent (More Than Usual): Detroit QB, Jon Kitna, dressed as a naked fattie while his wife posed as a redheaded drive-thru clerk for Halloween to poke a little fun at Detroit D-line coach, Joe Cullen. The costume was a shoutout for Cullen’s arrest last year for driving under the influence (and totally nude) on his way through the line to the Wendy’s window. Kitna expressed regret over calling more attention to Cullen’s run in with the law…but hey, screw it, the Lions are 6-2, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s working Bible beater!

• Noisegate: Teams pumping in crowd noise to bolster home field advantage seems fair; networks pumping in crowd noise to add excitement to the first ever November game between undefeated teams is just plain dumb. If there’s any possible way to fuck up the cash cow that is pro football in America, it appears the NFL and its cronies are the one group that could do it.

• Drug Emporium: No Duane but plenty of Reid. Where’s our invite?

• Kickin’ It: Sebastian Janikowski still can’t justify his spot as a first round pick and, just like you, still holding on a little too tight to high school football memories.