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Watch Your Self-Respect Roll Away On Eight Wheels

Although the product photos are of good quality and make these things look somewhat cool when not strapped to someone’s feet, in reality they’re one of the worst forms of personal transportation that we’ve ever seen. In fact, these iShoes are emblematic of a much bigger and pervasive problem in the United States on a whole: wussyism. Has it really gotten to the point where we need iShoes, which are basically glorified, auto-propelled electric rollerblades, to get around? These 16lb. electric shoes reach a paltry top speed of only 15 mph and have a range of five to seven miles on one charge. These are actually worse than the Magic Wheel, since that at least requires a minimal amount of physical exertion. Adding insult to injury, they invert the swoosh for some semblance of relevancy. Ugh!

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