THE KID MERO CRITIQUES GEORGE ZIMMERMAN'S PAINTINGS

The voice of the Internet, The Kid Mero, will be offering his opinions on everything from fashion to family values, algebra to defensive driving on Complex.com, twice weekly. Mero speaks for himself, his views do not necessarily reflect those of Complex.com, the art illuminatiBarack Obama (or his thoughts on art history degrees), or Paris Hilton wearing Barbara Kruger hater blockers. You've been warned.

WHAT IS ART EXACTLY MY GUYS? LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN, ART IS MANY DIFFERENT THINGS TO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE. YOU FEEL ME? IF YOU ASK A BOTTLE WAITRESS AND A CONGRESSWOMAN BOTH THE QUESTION "WHO IS KIM KARDASHIAN?" YOU WILL GET TWO VERY DISTINCT ANSWERS B. SAME SHIT WITH ART. YOU CAN'T REALLY PINPOINT THAT SHIT AND SAY "THIS IS ART" AND "THAT'S NOT ART" BECAUSE THE CRAZY LADY WHO HAD NAKED STARING CONTESTS WITH OD STRANGERS CONSIDERS THAT SHIT ART. I CONSIDER IT SOME SHIT I WOULD PROBABLY DO IF I'M HIGH ON DUST. THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON FIT TO CRITIQUE ART AND BE LIKE "THIS IS POPPIN, OR, THAT IS DECIDELY UNPOPPIN."

AND THAT'S ME. OBV. 

THE FIRST ARTIST WHOSE WORK I'M FINNA CRITIQUE IS A VERY POLARIZING FIGURE B. LIKE HOMIE IS PRETTY MUCH LOATHED NATIONWIDE IF YOU DON'T ENJOY KILLING BLACK CHILDREN FOR SHITS & GIGS ON SOME HUNGER GAMES WILD SAVAGE SHIT. THAT WING IS GEORGE ZIMMERMAN. YA BOY GEORGE ZIMMERMAN BEAT A BODY AND DID THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU BEAT A BODY FAM WHICH IS GO HAMMER AND PULL YOUR GUN ON WHOEVER GETS ON YOUR NERVES SUCH AS LIKE YOUR WIFE OR YOUR CAT OR WHATEVER. GEORGIE WAS OUT THERE LIVING THAT SAVAGE LIFE AND SINCE HE PAID A BAJILLION DOLLARS TO GET OFF HE CLAIMS TO BE IN WILD DEBT. PERSONALLY I DON'T BELIEVE THE MUTHAFUCKA BECAUSE I GO ON PAYPAL AND ASK PEOPLE FOR MONEY AND THEY SEND IT TO ME SOMETIMES. YOU KNOW HOW MANY RACIST MUTHAFUCKAS PUT THIS DUDE ON A PEDESTAL AND WOULD DONATE THEIR KIDS' LUNGS SO THIS WORMBURGER CAN ENJOY AN AFFLUENT LIFESTYLE? GEORGE ZIMMERMAN PROBABLY DOING BOOK SIGNINGS AT NRA EVENTS EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T WRITTEN A BOOK. NIGGA SIGNS OTHER PEOPLE'S BOOKS.

ANYWAY LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE. 

Sold for $100,099.99 on eBay on December 21, 2013 after 96 bids

WOW THIS IS PRETTY SHITTY, GEORGE. DID YOU ACTUALLY PAINT THIS OR DID YOU BUY THIS AT TARGET? YOU BOUGHT THIS AT TARGET MY PAL YOU CAN'T PULL THE WOOL OVER MY EYES FAM THIS IS RIGHT OUTTA THE "COOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR" SECTION OF TARGET B. THIS IS WILD BORING BECAUSE FLAGS ARE BORING AND AMERICA IS BORING. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO AMERICA? THAT SHIT IS BORING AS FUCK BRUH. PEOPLE JUST DRIVE AROUND TO JOBS AND GO HOME AFTER THEY JOBS AND LIKE GO TO DAVE & BUSTERS AND SHIT. BOOOOORIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!!!! ANYWAY THIS PAINTING IS TRASH AND GEORGE ZIMMERMAN IS A TRASH HUMAN. GUESS WHAT THO HE SOLD THIS WASTE OF BLUE PAINT FOR 100 RACKS! HOLY SHIT RACISM IS WILD LUCRATIVE! IF YOU'RE A WHITE DUDE AND NEED CASH NOW YOU DONT NEED TO CALL JG WENTWORTH YOU JUST NEED TO DO SOME WILD RACIST SHIT AND THEN BE LIKE "LOL" ABOUT IT. OTHER RACIST WHITE PEOPLE WILL COME TO YOUR RESCUE. IMA CONSTRUCT A LOGIC TABLE ABOUT THIS AT SOME POINT BUT THAT POINT IS NOT NOW BECAUSE I JUST HIT THE VAPE AND I'M TYPING THIS WITH MY EYES CLOSED. DEAD ASS JUST TYPED THE LAST TWO SENTENCES WITH MY EYES CLOSED NO TYPOS FUCK WITCHA BOY HAAAAANNN!  

George's brother Robert Zimmerman Jr. tweeted about George's second painting on January 22, 2014

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE OF G-ZIM'S "WORKS OF ART"…APPARENTLY HE ENJOYS PAINTING PICTURES OF YOUR TITI YVETTE. THAT'S NOT TITI YVETTE? NAH? WHO THE FUCK IS THIS? *READS EMAIL FROM CEDAR* OHHHH THIS IS THE STATE ATTORNEY ANGELA COREY. YO THIS IS A DISASTROUS PAINTING B. THIS IS ACTUALLY KINDA GOOD BUT TERRIBLE. IT LOOKS CLEAN AND INTERESTING A LITTLE BIT SO YOU KNOW GEORGE PRACTICALLY JERKED OFF ONTO THIS SHIT BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE THE TYPE THAT GETS AROUSED BY POTENTIAL "I DID SOMETHING GOOD" MOMENTS. WHAT A DICK. ANYWAY THIS PAINTING SUCKS BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY A PAINTING OF AN OLD WOMAN WHO HASN'T FELT A TONGUE CARESS HER CLITORIS SINCE REAGAN. HOW IS THAT A POPPING SUBJECT MATTER B? CAN YOU PAINT LIKE IDK SOME TITTIES OR SOME SHIT? MAKE ME HATE YOU VERY SLIGHTLY LESS BY MAKING A COOL PAINTING OF TWO DOMINICAN GIRLS 69'ING. THE DUDE WHO TOOK THE ORIGINAL PHOTO THIS PAINTING IS BLATANTLY BITING HAS THREATENED TO SUE GEORGIE IF HE DOESN'T CEASE AND DESIST WITH HIS BULLSHIT. NOT SURE IF DUDE IS ACTUALLY CONCERNED WITH APPROPRIATION OF HIS WORK OR IF HE JUST WANTS TO BE A DICK TO ZIMMERMAN BUT EITHER WAY I'M WIT IT.  

OVERALL I GOTTA SAY HANG UP THE BRUSHES, PAINTING IS NOT FOR YOU. STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW WHICH IS BEING RACIST AND BEATING YOUR WIFE. I'LL SEND YOU A KID ROCK / EMINEM MIXTAPE TO KEEP YOUR WHITE PRIDE AT PEAK LEVELS WHILE YOU OUT HERE IN THESE STREETS TRYNA EARN A LIVING PAINTING PICTURES OF HOW YOU BEAT A BODY. 

PEACE YOU FUCKIN WORM.

RELATED: A PICTURE-BY-PICTURE BREAKDOWN OF RAPPERS' INFATUATION WITH ART BY THE KID MERO

 

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