Home // STYLE // HOW TO // How to spot your criminal neighbors

The funny-style cops from RENO 911!: MIAMI teach you how to spot your criminal neighbors.

HOW TO

Career in Health Care

Career in Health Care



HOW TO
 SPOT A... 		DEP. TRUDY WIEGEL DEP. TRAVIS JUNIOR LT. JIM  DANGLE
TERRORIST Anyone who burns incense is probably a terrorist. If his name is Mohammed, check his passport. If he has one, he might be a terrorist.  Have a bacon - eating, booze - drinking party and see if they show up. They probably won\'t.
METH CHEF Look for someone who has meth and is cooking it up. If they have 180 propane tanks and a Sudafed truck behind their trailer and aren\'t flu-y or a hell of a barbecuer, bingo. Here\'s the thing about meth chefs: Their houses frequently explode in a blinding haze of chemical fire, which really sucks for property values.
COCKFIGHTER The man may be trying to hit you with his penis. IS HIS COCK WEARING SPURS? Look for a huge, oversized cock with extra inches and some girth. It may or may not have a razor blade attached.
HEROIN ADDICT They have great bodies without having to throw up. Does he take six-week naps between albums? Heroin is the silent killer. There\'s no way to tell. Oh wait, lupus is the silent killer. Junkies look exactly like Pete Doherty.
PIMP He\'s a cool-ass brotha with some bitchin\' hos and a sweet ride. If his bitches are really fly-and he\'s not associated with the music business-he could be. If he heads to work with a jewel-encrusted goblet and a purple cape, he\'s probably not heading to the Renaissance Faire (unless he\'s white).
PROSTITUTE SHE HAS YOUR DICK IN HER MOUTH. Get a handjob from her. If she charges you, bingo. Prostitutes are only criminals where prostitution is illegal (check your local listings).
Home // STYLE // HOW TO // How to spot your criminal neighbors
By pressing Subscribe you agree to our privacy policy

Complex Connect Beta

Connect with your existing social network(s) to update your status and notify friends right from this page

Your profile | Disconnect

profile picture
Profile page

Update your status

Update status

Notify Friends

Subject:
Message:

Buy It Now

Daily Style
Subscribe to Complex Magazine!

Advertise Customer Service Subscribe to Complex Magazine Unsubscribe Contact Us Current Issue Press Releases

Advertise About Us Contact Us Get our Newsletter RSS Feeds Site Map Offers Privacy Policy

12ozProphet BounceMag Complex ComplexVideo DailyDrop DasGamer DimeMag DimeTV FreshnessMag HighSnobiety illRoots JapaneseSportCars Juxtapoz Karmaloop KarmaloopTV KicksFinder KicksOnFire Loud MissInfo MoeJackson NahRight NiceKicks OliviaMunn OnSMASH Pastapadre PlanetXbox360 PlaystationUniversity Sarcasticgamer SlamxHype SneakerNews SneakerFreaker Streetball Vdream VladTV