PLAYER: Ichiro Suzuki
TEAM: Seattle Mariners (American League)

WIFEY: Yumiko Fukushima

Adding some Asian flavor to the mix is perennial all-star Ichiro. His wife of nine years is a former Japanese TV personality, but she looks more Kathie Lee than Kelly Ripa. Yo Ichiro, don't you know our superstar athletes get fake-tittied white girls when they make it big? Catch up!