PLAYER: Albert Pujols
TEAM: St. Louis Cardinals (National League)

WIFEY: Deirdre Pujols

We fucks with Albert—he’s cool, plus his last name is “Pujols.” His wife is Deirdre Pujols. Deirdre’s Pujols? Okay, we’ll stop. She looks sweet, not slutty, and that’s a good thing.