Speaking of workplace hazards, you’ve got a make-out scene with Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man. Word on the street is he was botching takes so he could keep kissing you.

Thomas Lennon: Rudd didn’t ruin any takes, but [director] John Hamburg wanted tons of takes for some reason. We did like 25 or 30. I think the one in the film is the first take.

So, if you woke up as a teenage Zac Efron, like Matthew Perry in 17 Again, what are the first three things you’d do?

Thomas Lennon: Run up three flights of stairs, do 100 crunches, then make out with Helen Mirren.

“Zac and Mirren Make a Porno!”—I smell a sequel. Anyway, you channeled Wilbur Wright for Night at the Museum 2. If you could have a conversation with one historical figure, who would it be?

Thomas Lennon: Jesus, as portrayed by Graham Chapman in 1979. I don’t think I’d understand the real Jesus, if he spoke Aramaic.

FX has the rights to Formosa, a series you and Ben Garant conceived about the early days of the porn industry. Are you sitting on a pile of old stag films for “research”?

Thomas Lennon: No, but we have one really weird book that has what I suspect is one of the earliest documented glory holes.

When was that?

Thomas Lennon: 1920s? Our show was actually set in the ’30s, but I think, judging by the underwear and the quality of the stills, it was a 1920s glory hole.

There’s a huge difference—scholars say the Great Depression set back glory-hole design 20 years. People need to consider the history of the glory hole.

Thomas Lennon: I don’t know how much there is, other than somebody cut a hole right at about two-and-a-half, three feet in the wall and then, boom.

True, but humans have gotten bigger over the years…

Thomas Lennon: Yeah, it’s probably moved an inch or two. Home // CELEBRITIES // THE SHOTCALLER // Thomas Lennon