JUDAH FRIEDLANDER

The stand-up comic and 30 Rock star is the world champion of life advice.

As told to Justin Monroe

1. Embrace hairiness.
If you're hairy, don't hide it. Guys are supposed to be hairy. It's testosterone, dude. I started shaving when I was 9, and by that night it came in full. There's nothing wrong with back hair, either. I've actually fucked a couple of wolf girls that kinda dug it.

2. Share the stage.
I don't find it difficult to work with lesser talents because my level always brings theirs up. Like Alec Baldwin's been in this business for years, he's paid his dues. With 30 Rock, he's finally gotten the chance to work with me, so I couldn't be happier for the guy.

3. Step out of your comfort zone.
Sometimes people ask me, "Are you playing yourself?" And I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" The 30 Rock role couldn't be further from what I'm really like. In the business that's what they call "range." I'm just a natural talent. I played a retarded guy, for lack of a better term, on Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I wore my own clothes. I said to Larry David, "Do I need to get wardrobe?" And he's like, "No, no, no, what you have on is fine."

4. Give back(shots).
I'm all about charity work, but I don't have to brag about it like all these other celebrities. I mean, the other day, I fucked 40 chicks, and it was all for charity. All of the proceeds went to benefit women with low self-esteem.

5. Go hard or go home.
In 6th grade, I decided to check out a martial arts lesson. I actually killed the sensei right in class. He was like a fourth degree black belt, so that automatically brought me up to fifth degree. Now I'm an extra-dark-black belt, to about the twelfth power. Actually, Bloodsport was based on my life. Not the original, but the fourth one.