The 30-year-old Saturday Night Live, Tropic Thunder, and Pineapple Express comic reveals his guide to world domination.

As told to Qimmah Saafir
Photography by Matt Doyle

1 PERSISTENCE + TALENT = LUCK.
I never in a billion years thought I’d be on Saturday Night Live. I moved to L.A. and it was always behind-the-scenes stuff that I was more interested in. Then my friends started casting me—I would do shows in a backyard, just to get that experience. Be persistent; if you’re talented, you’ll get lucky in some way.

2 DON’T JINX IT!
I’m really superstitious. Anytime I think, Oh man, I’d like to do this, that’s when I fuck up. If I just don’t say anything, it’ll happen. I never said I wanna be on SNL or that I wanna work with Judd Apatow, when I secretly really did wanna do those things. Now I’ll say something and it’s like, Welp, you fucked that one up.

3 SHUT THE EFF UP.
On SNL, when Lorne Michaels is giving notes, I watch him work, like, Oh, so that’s how you do that. Amy Poehler too, she’s phenomenal. When Amy’s around, I shut the fuck up ’cause she’s a genius. I’m working with legends. It’s amazing. The best thing to do is just shut the fuck up and listen.

4 EMBRACE YOUR DARK SIDE.
When I was a kid, my grandfather took me to a bookstore. The first thing I saw was Salem’s Lot by Stephen King and I was like: vampires? In a small town? Uh, yes please. On SNL I’m always going, “Can I be a demon thing?” I love horror films. Watching serious films makes you funnier.

5 WALK, DON’T SURF.
I sit here on YouTube or some random blog, like What the fuck am I doing on the Drudge Report again? But I’m not on MySpace or Facebook. In New York, I’m able to say, “There’s this really cool Mexican restaurant downtown, let’s just walk to it.” A long walk to get a nice meal makes me happy. Cardio to get fat.

INFORMER

Bill has a large dent in his head, but it’s not from a Lorne Michaels beatdown. His skull just came together abnormally at birth.