You’re turning 40 in November. With Jay-Z saying 30’s the new 20, do you think 40’s the new 30?

Tracy Morgan: That’s bullshit! 40 is 40. I feel every bit of it, goddamnit. People say shit and then other people reinforce that bullshit. I’ll get out here and do some 20-year-old shit and fuck around and break something! I used to have a serious handle—when I was 20. Now I’m 40! I ain’t getting out there on the court and twisting my ankle so I can’t go to 30 Rock. If my ankle gets twisted, my cash flow stops. I’m not going through a midlife crisis just because I like beautiful women. Motherfucker turn 40 and he don’t like young women, then he’s going through a crisis.

You’re sober now, but you’ve had a history with alcohol. What’s the craziest thing that happened to you when you were drinking heavily?

Tracy Morgan: When I was wilding? I got kicked out of Prince’s house. The last time he won a Grammy, we went to the pre-Grammy party. Free booze all night. Prince had his band in the living room. Everybody left the house except for me and my boy. It was 6 o’clock, 7 o’clock in the morning, the sun was coming up, and we were still drinking. And Prince and his wife were at the door in their pajamas and said, “Come on, Tracy, you’ve got to go.” And I was gay for about five seconds because he’s a pretty motherfucker. If Prince was a woman, I would go down on him. All the way down. Swell his vagina lips up.

[Laughs.] Before your divorce, you were with your high school sweetheart for 20 years. How hard was it to stay faithful?

Tracy Morgan: Shit was hard, but I stayed faithful. No women ever took me from my wife. Alcohol took me from my wife. Partying took me from my wife. She just got sick of the drinking and stuff. Once a woman is fed up, there ain’t much you can do about love. I hope to get married again. And I’m going to correct all the mistakes I made with her in my new marriage. Who knows? She may come back to me. My door’s always open.

How’s the dating scene now?

Tracy Morgan: Horrendous! I keep meeting fucking golddiggers. It’s one thing if you’re broke, and the female loves you and helps you struggle to get where you want to go. It’s easy to love somebody when they’re there already. I haven’t been on the dating scene for 21 years. I don’t think I’ll ever find real love out there. When I met my wife, it wasn’t about love and money; we were happy with just love. My woman was good with money. She wanted to always put something away for the rainy day and things like that. I was the one spending. Now a chick want to spend all my money up—and then give me a hassle when I want my dick sucked! Right now I’m doing my thing, and there’s nobody that’s slowing me down. I’m moving at 100 miles per hour. If you can’t keep up, you got babies and you got problems, that shit going to slow you down. I don’t need it. I’m trying to tell my friends, man, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t going to be one.

Are you still getting dragged by your friends to the strip clubs?

Tracy Morgan: I haven’t been to a strip club in three or four years. I don’t do that shit no more. When I was a child, I thought like a child, I spoke like a child, and I acted like a child. I don’t want to sit down and watch other women. I’ll tell my [next] wife to get on the bed and put big draws on and throw $400 dollars at her—then take the money back and go food shopping.

You’re playing a character named "Busta Nut" in Deep in the Valley next year. How would you feel if that nickname stuck?

Tracy Morgan: I don’t want anything to stick on me. A character’s a character for that moment. You didn’t call Richard Pryor “Mudbone.” You called him Richard Pryor. That’s respect. You’re not going to put “Busta Nut” on my star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood. You’re going to put “Tracy Morgan” on. That’s what my mother and father named me. When I’m in the street and people go, “Yo!” or “Hey!” I don’t respond to that. If you know me you’re going to say, “Yo Tray! Tracy Morgan! Tray Bag!” That’s when I respond. “Tray Morg!” That’s how my peoples call me. “Caligula!” “Big-Dick Tracy!”

Caligula?

Tracy Morgan: He was Caesar of Rome. Stuck a fucking ring in somebody’s ass! He would have orgies all day. Caligula! Home // CELEBRITIES // COVER STORY // Tracy Morgan & Christopher Mintz-Plasse // Tracy Morgan