// COMPLEX MEN // Pure Pwnage
Avid video gamers flip playtime into a hit Internet show.
By Rebecca Louie
Photograph by Daniel Alexander
› WHO Toronto-based childhood pals Jarrett Cale and Geoff Lapaire, both 30
› WHAT Web-based mockumentary shorts filmed by Lapaire about a monitor-humping pro gamer (Cale) out to pwn n00bs (son rookies, for those only versed in rap slang) in everything from Tetris to Halo 3. It started with an 11-minute episode in 2004, and it’s now a full-fledged company (ROFLMAO Productions) with five employees, regular 30-minute episodes, and three million viewers.
› GAME PRIDE PARADE Cale: “There is always this shame with being a geek. You have to hide the fact that you do well in school, that you play video games. Part of Pure Pwnage’s goal is to remove that shame.”
› CHARGE IT TO THE GAME After six years at the University of Toronto, Cale failed to graduate, but he did pick up gaming-related tendinitis and carpal-tunnel syndrome (hence the missing degree).
› MASS APPEAL Pwnage’s shorts are translated into 30 languages, and have had theatrical premieres in Toronto, London, and Melbourne, Australia. Despite being courted for mainstream distribution, Lapaire says, “We’ve decided to stick with what’s working on the Internet, and that comes with a lot of freedom.”
› PRODUCT An online store (noobstore.com) that sells Pwnage-related memorabilia.
› REVENGE OF THE NERDS Pwnage has two all-girl fan clubs. Cale: “I’ve even signed a few breasts in my time.”
INFORMER
In 2003, when he was gaming 84 hours a week, Cale considered playing StarCraft professionally in South Korea.PT U ON THE GME
From “pwn” to “n00b,” gaming has its own vocabulary. But can you tell the real from the fake? Take our quiz and find out.
1. “SPLASH DAMAGE” IS: a) When Spy Hunter drives through a puddle
b) When Link “rescues” Zelda in the eye
c) When bystanders get hit in first-person shooters
d) When Mario cries
2. “GJP” STANDS FOR: a) “Greenut jutter & pelly”
b) “Good job, partner”
c) “Great Jesus penis!”
d) “Goddamn Jack Palance”
3. TRUE OR FALSE: “N1” refers to the lost brother of dead prez’s M1 in Def Jam Vendetta.
4. A “LLAMA” IS: a) a gamer who spits at the screen
b) a lame gamer
c) the South American pack animal in Metroid
d) the lead character in His Holiness, the Spiritual Leader of Tibet
5. TRUE OR FALSE: Twinking is a new RPG in development from Lou Pearlman Games.
