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Alt-Rap Saviors

RESUMÉ Entourage, Common tour-buddies
IN 2008 Interscope debut LP
New Orleanian brothers Rah Almillio and Krispy Kream survived Hurricane Katrina. Now the rapper/producer/instrumentalists are ready to take the world by storm with a fresh blend of electro-rock-hop that acts like Febreze, breathing new life into the stale, lingering fart that is hip-hop. And with their Interscope debut, Remind Me In 3 Days, dropping in the first quarter of '08, don't be surprised if you find yourself jocking deez Knux.
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IT'S NOT ALL RAH-RAH, PEOPLE. WHO'S TAKING AN L IN '08?

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD

You got by on the beard and the appealingly delusional despotism for long enough, Mahmoud. There just aren't enough impressionable coeds in this country to make us pretend to humor you anymore.

PEREZ HILTON

If we want to see a bitchy know-it-all with a fat-kid complex, we'll watch The View. Who at VH1 smoked dust and gave you a show, anyway? We'd rather watch New York's mom's sex tape.

BARACK OBAMA

E for effort, big homie, but you'll be seeing red (states) come November. Don't worry, you've still got a few terms left before you're corrupt enough not to care what happens to our country.

STEVE CARELL

We still love The Office, but how many times can you play a warmhearted family man who becomes a warmer-hearted family man? Last chance: if Get Smart is as wack as we fear, we're sending Jonah Hill to take a crap on your chest.