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RESUMÉ Ballin'! Also, push-ups
IN 2008 VH1 Reality Infamy
The sun is always shinin' on Jim Jones. Add TV cameras to the list? Wipe him down. Ballin' out of control earned huge dividends for the most charismatic Dipper in the form of a VH1 reality show, not to mention the multi-million-dollar development deal with Rick Rubin at Sony. As for the next trick up the Byrdman's sleeve, we can only guess, but chances are it's something entertaining. Surriously.
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IT'S NOT ALL RAH-RAH, PEOPLE. WHO'S TAKING AN L IN '08?

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD

You got by on the beard and the appealingly delusional despotism for long enough, Mahmoud. There just aren't enough impressionable coeds in this country to make us pretend to humor you anymore.

PEREZ HILTON

If we want to see a bitchy know-it-all with a fat-kid complex, we'll watch The View. Who at VH1 smoked dust and gave you a show, anyway? We'd rather watch New York's mom's sex tape.

BARACK OBAMA

E for effort, big homie, but you'll be seeing red (states) come November. Don't worry, you've still got a few terms left before you're corrupt enough not to care what happens to our country.

STEVE CARELL

We still love The Office, but how many times can you play a warmhearted family man who becomes a warmer-hearted family man? Last chance: if Get Smart is as wack as we fear, we're sending Jonah Hill to take a crap on your chest.
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