// Leaders of the New // Jesus Martinez
RESUMÉ Drunkenstepfather.com
IN 2008 Back at it, like he never left
IN 2008 Back at it, like he never left
The blogosphere is already saturated with up-skirt pics of Brit, Paris, and LiLo, but Jesus is our NSFW surfing co-pilot. The true draw of Drunken Stepfather is its head honcho's bizarre gonzo rantings; the guy's like Bukowski with a laptop. Self-loathing + cleavage + cartoonish misogyny = genius. It's a formula that other Internet geeks can't hack.
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IT'S NOT ALL RAH-RAH, PEOPLE. WHO'S TAKING AN L IN '08?
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD
You got by on the beard and the appealingly delusional despotism for long enough, Mahmoud. There just aren't enough impressionable coeds in this country to make us pretend to humor you anymore.PEREZ HILTON
If we want to see a bitchy know-it-all with a fat-kid complex, we'll watch The View. Who at VH1 smoked dust and gave you a show, anyway? We'd rather watch New York's mom's sex tape.BARACK OBAMA
E for effort, big homie, but you'll be seeing red (states) come November. Don't worry, you've still got a few terms left before you're corrupt enough not to care what happens to our country.STEVE CARELL
We still love The Office, but how many times can you play a warmhearted family man who becomes a warmer-hearted family man? Last chance: if Get Smart is as wack as we fear, we're sending Jonah Hill to take a crap on your chest.
